All The Questions That Are Damaging My Sanity

How could you forget? How could you forget our happiest memories? How dare you replace our happiness with misery?
Why would you give up that easily? Why did you leave? I don’t even remember the reason.
I bet you had quite the reason to leave on that cold winter morning.
I bet you planned your big escape from months ago.
I bet you were sick of trying to reach me.
Everyone has their pace… and most importantly this isn’t some race.
I don’t understand why you felt like you had to reach me.
I know I had some other length but don’t we all?
Don’t we all walk our own distances to reach our goals?
Was I a goal to you? Was this some kind of who gets the girl?
Even thinking about it makes me sick. I really doubt that I knew the real you.

Why did you leave? Why did my heart get so cold? Did I ever make you unhappy? Was I selfish? What is that one thing you never talked to me about and somehow lead you to leave? Just tell me.

I know I’ve done mistakes but I really would like to know what they are. I want to fix us. I’m not sure if we are an ‘us’ anymore but I’d like to try my chances. Isn’t that what life is? We try even though we know we’ll fail. We try to make others happy. So it seems that I couldn’t make you happy. Maybe that was what was bothering you all along. But why? Why didn’t you tell me anything? Why didn’t you complain? Where is the honesty in our relationship? Or what’s left of it… Honesty… I always was honest with you. I deserved your honesty too.

If you love someone, you can fix things. It’s easier to fix a relationship than adjust to a new one. Getting to know someone new can be fun, I know that, but keeping a relationship steady for a long time is hard, the result can be sort of like playing slots… It’s all about luck… and we lost the gamble called ‘love’…


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