It’s half past five and the light at the end of the road is fading. I think of all the memories I left behind, heart broken memories. I want to set sail to new beginnings but I also don’t want to leave home. New places bring new adventures but they also bring new faces and getting used to new things is never easy. Can I not go and regret this lost opportunity throughout my life? Can I go back like I never left? Will this day ever end? It’s getting dark and I don’t know how I’ll find the right way.
Some people are passionate about nostalgia. I never liked history classes and I never wanted to live in the 1950s, unlike that one girl in my class. Nevertheless I always wanted to continue living in the late 1990s and never grow up. Maybe it was an escape from my responsibilities, maybe I miss the nice people of that time… it’s hard to say. I’m not leaving because times have changed, I’m leaving because I no longer can stay in a world of more futures than present. How can you live in the present when you’re preoccupied with your so-called future… ridiculous, you don’t even know if you’ll live through the night. Where’s the 90s when you need it?
I don’t know if time really talks but “Time will tell” is what the old me would tell when a friend is making decisions. Why can’t the old me tell the new me some of those words? I know I over-think when I should just let go but how will you explain that to the new me?
Coffee… that’s what will keep my eyes open for a while, then darkness will embrace the road like a mother. I wonder when will this journey end. Will it last hours? Will it last days? Will it last months? The only answer to this is “Time will tell”. Other than the fact that I didn’t make up my mind before leaving… there’s one more little thing to worry about… I’m alone in this journey. You can be alone in a business but never a journey. Journey… to me, it’s the biggest war between past and future on the road to present.
“One Way”, says the sign on the road. There really is one way only, I’ll return or continue running away from myself.
People who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.