Visitor in Istanbul

5 February 2014

“I don’t belong here” I thought. But if I don’t belong here, where do I belong?

Realizing the fact that Istanbul was nothing like how it was when I only visited in the summers, a negative thought conquered me. I’m not even going to bother mentioning the weather. I didn’t even know seasons existed back when I lived in Jeddah, it was always like summer.

I was lost, it was my first winter in Istanbul, how did I end up here? I honestly didn’t like wearing gloves nor boots.

After a while I realized the reason why I hated winter wasn’t the cold weather, it was homesickness. For a really long time I refused to accept Istanbul as my hometown, it was bigger than my dreams, I felt lost. I knew every corner back in Jeddah. If Jeddah was a sea, Istanbul was an ocean and I was frightened to go deeper.

Not only did I miss Jeddah, I started seeing Istanbul as a cage…


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